No top filling

You have to choose, you have to make choices in life because that is the only way to have it all.

From time to time I forget this, or I allow myself to be mislead by the faulty belief that it’s about -doing- it all. Having it all is in many ways the opposite of doing it all, it’s about not having to do it all. It’s about only doing what you -really- want, only doing what matters to -you-.

For instance I don’t care to play PTA, it’s not my cup of tea so I don’t bother. But that is not enough, I recognise it as a conscious choice to make sure I am not bothered by my own absence  in the parental community.
Also I don’t sing in a quire, I’m not a member of a DIY-circle, I don’t keep animals or grow anything eatable and I don’t aspire to do so, I don’t participate in any athletic activities or watch sports. And since about four years I don’t even read daily newspapers or watch TV, in fact the only time I watch anything is in a social context or when I’m in bed to sick to read or write.

I don’t do it all! In fact I probably don’t do most things regarded as a part of regular life. Instead I aspire to have it all, I try to get everything I ever wanted and then some! But no matter how much I sought for something, regardless of how hard I have worked for it.. I intend never ever keep anything that isn’t truly pleasant and gratifying.

This does not mean I live a happy go lucky kind of life, it does not imply I expect every moment in life to be jolly and joyful, I don’t intend it to be.

It is all about not having hard feelings about not doing things I didn’t want to do anyways. It’s about not doing things that only fill out time. It’s about not doing things you hate out of obligation when it doesn’t really bring you (and the world) anything except more obligations.

When the going gets tough these are the chooses you have to make to not just ”hold it together” but to set your terms and keep on living under decent circumstances. In times of sweet luscious overflow these are the choice you should make to make sure you get that which you truly want instead of losing yourself and what you hold dear to the empty pleasure of instant gratification monkey on speed.